Monday, March 7, 2011

Big Huge Questions of the Universe

I've been pondering some things lately. This is stuff I have no answer for. Deep stuff. Troubling stuff. Stuff that keeps me up nights. I'd really like your thoughts on these matters, so if you have any, please chime in.

First, why it is that bills and junk mail make it to the mail box in an absolute and timely manner; but checks, packages, and letters get all kinds of lost and take all kinds time? Seriously, I don't think it's my imagination.

Next, why is it the human body can't figure out when it has consumed one of those fast-food salads with 20 million calories? I mean, if calories are just an equation for the amount of energy food has provided, why doesn't the body stop half-way through the salad and think, "Hey! I am sooo stuffed. I know this is just a salad, but it feels like I just had a 1000 calories, so I think I'll quit." No, that would be too easy. Instead it's saying, "I only had a itty-bitty salad for dinner, so I think now I'll have some cheesecake." Seriously, the body is an amazing thing, why can it not figure this out? Why do we need books and calorie charts to tell us these things?

And finally, why after a round of hair-losing meds, have I had to trade my eyebrow tweezers for an eyebrow pencil; but at the same time my toe hairs have multiplied by about a thousand? Again, I would really, truly like to know. I'm thinking maybe hair follicles are affected by gravity? But it's just a theory.

Answers are welcome - as are any of your own deep unaswerable questions.


Anonymous said...

I have one of those unanswerable questions of my own...why is it that as soon as you have about an inch of hair on your chemo of course....everyone asks: So, are you gonna keep your hair short? I am looking for the perfect, smart alec response if you have one. As for the eye brow thing, I prefer the brush and powder to a pencil.

Your sister warrior....

Suzanne Reese said...

Actually my favorite is, "Did it come in curly?"
"Umm, I'm not sure. Do you have a mirror I can check?" =)

And yep, you're right about the eye shadow and brush, that is what I use. Wasn't thinkin'! It's actually a great trick, I might even prefer it to tweezing! (Except for tweezing the toes, that I could do without.) Ah, life. Never a dull moment!

Kimi said...

I feel so useless as I am ill-equipped to answer ANY of your questions.

Do you have some easier ones I could take a shot at?

And Anne: I am racking (how do you spell that?) my brain for the perfect snarky comment for that lame question! It SO needs one. You MUST let us know if you come up with something--and I'll do the same.

Suzanne: I am sorry about your hairy toes. (Not cool, hair cells!) I mean, I can think of worse places for tufts of hair to spring forth and everything, but Summer is coming and the shoes will need to give over to the flip flops! And then what?

Special Offers said...

I love that you posted those questions. Not everyone would even think to ask those questions. Sadly I don't have an answer for any of those, but I would like to know the answer to those. Like you said the body is an amazing thing. We all just become curiouser and curiouser. I hope you find out the answers you are looking for. Have a great day :)