If there is one thing I know how to do well, it's kill plants. Inside, outside, wherever they are, I can kill them. My house plants all look like they're on life support, and my vegetable garden isn't much better. One year I planted three zucchini plants, and managed to come up with the same number of zucchinis. If you know anything about zucchini, you know how pathetic that is.
I'm pleased to report that my zucchini crop is doing well this year, but my corn crop is just down-right scary. The stalks are loaded with ears of corn. But they are only about 2 feet tall. That's the stalks, not the ears. I'm not making this up! If that weren't wierd enough, the little tuffs that grow out of the top of the stalks have corn kernels growing out of them. It's kind of freaky. But we did have some little corn cobs last night - they were slightly bigger than the pickled cobs that go in salads - and they seemed fine. I have no idea why those stalks are dwarfs - I'll be calling the experts tomorrow. I just hope they don't laugh at me. Or tell me not to eat the stuff.