My first reaction was to head to the doctor and demand he make him better ASAP. But then I came to my senses and realized that's not the thing to do on the first day of a low-grade fever and stuffy nose. So I loaded him up with all the things you can load a kid up on: water, vitamins, saline sprays, humidifier, etc. I watched him even more closely than I usually watch my sick kids. Probably took his temp a dozen times. And grilled him repeatedly on his symptoms.
By dinner he was getting just a little bit cranky. Okay, he was way cranky. But Dad made him eat at the table, since he didn't want chili spilled on the couch, which made him even crankier. He said his head hurt whenever he moved.
During dinner I observed out loud (in my worried voice, does this mean something? should I take him to the doctor now?) that one of his eyes was bloodshot.
That's when he made his comeback line, the way his big siblings do, ever since Napoleon Dynamite made 'YOUR mom goes to college' popular. Except he hadn't quite heard me right. And he was in a really fowl mood.
"YOUR eyes are bulging," he told me in the most sincerely cranky way possible.
After we all finished laughing (which he did not find amusing at all) his sisters decided that is the best comeback line ever.